latetly. i have some ideas
but no motivation and no time.
i work and party too much.
there's no energy for art anymore.
so are the times we live in.
(someday i'll run away,
live in a motel, and make
art constantly for the rest
of my life.)
devou
candy

charlie.IV. you say you are a lighthouse with no light, an empty tower which offers no solace; just exists.charlie.
if only you knew that your light burns brightest of all.
--
you quote elliott smith like christians quote jesus. it throws me every time. for a second, i think they are your words and try to make sense of them before i realize it's just a song.
--
thinking of excuses to stand in the hallway where i know you'll see me is my new favorite game.
--
i first saw you on a stage,
asleep

someone, anyone.look: i would like to be your best friend.someone, anyone.
the thing is, i won't talk to you because i get scared of human contact and i will studiously ignore you in the elevator. if i see you coming i will cross the street to avoid having to smile into your honest eyes.
but for the holidays i will mail you a ruler, so you can draw straight lines and measure things. see, i'm interested in putting order into people's lives, not fucking them over.
---
once a soccer player gave me whooping cough and then got rejected from the college of his choice.
this is called karma.


On Love, In DistanceDear Eve,On Love, In Distance
I wish I could blame this on alcohol. I wish I could blame this on drugs. I wish I could blame this on the media and violent videogames and ignorant music like what your little brother listens to.
And I dont know how seriously you take my words,
But the truth is I can only blame you and me (us I guess it could be called) for what we say and do and dance to and steal. Thick as thieves. In the thick of it. Thick skulled.
I think there would be no question about feelings if I spent even a minute more at your side on the couch, maybe just watching the news, the dog on

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